Saturday, May 3, 2014

I’ll always be sorry

I know, the days between us
would never be the same again;
What I always wanted the same
is our love and, not that stupid pain.

Yes, I throw my temper on you
when I feel unnoticed ever;
But I can never withstand
your eyes full of unspoken anger.

I was hushed coz I wanted
you to listen to my heart;
I asked your eyes too often
- ‘tell me was it so difficult?’

How pretentious we may feel
each instance, when we walk singly;
Demanding first to be second one
for the glimpse of each other fleetingly.

I won’t tell you to come to me,
yet, today I knocked at your door;
I just wanted to sleep beside you,
but you amazed me with no answer.

Yes, I waited there all alone,
touching the wood many a time;
But the door seemed too stiff,
as if you were on the other side.

Keeping this hope in my mind
that heaven is just one step away;
I will come again with same love
for another fight in a brand new day.

Yes, I do not feel the guilt
when I fight with you,
But I’ll always be sorry
for the days without you.

# I must mention you ani that it is for you only.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Amrit !

The scorched earth and the burning me,
both waited until it rained finally;

You as the beads of myriad shapes,
got soaked to our hearts slowly.

People might presumed you as
the first monsoon of this year;

But we only knew that it’s ‘Amrit’
with dracular smile wrapped in thunder.

P.S. Birthday wishes to someone, on the day of first rain of this season, making me nostalgic of those loving days and some dreams remained to be unfulfilled for the rest of this life.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Unwished wish .....

Every day when I cross

the old man sitting in front of
a blue colored mud-shelter
and his unanswered awaiting eyes;

the farmer’s field spreading in rectangles
with emptiness all over it
and a few green pits of hope;

the escaped children from home,
running over the red soil
and the ringing of nearby school’s bell;

the rows of eucalyptus trees
forced to be standing straight
with only one white bone;

a tilted signboard, painted in
unreadable fluorescent white,
and standing like a sleepless mind;

five zones of the same city
parted by a few kilometers and
by the color of their houses;

the traffic with obvious congestion
and a warm dispute of dusty weather
with the serenity of bearing earth;

two queues of gigantic demons,
holding wires of some mega watts
in search of a lowering sun;

last, but not least of my journey,
including the other side of the bus,
while sitting next to the window;

I only count the slipping moments
and distances between you and me so far,
with the ‘unwished wish’ of forgettable you.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

As I walked further into the rain…..

The same misty night
filled with the same solitude,
same rain and freezing sight
all coming to you to occlude;

And I felt the same pain,
as I walked further into the rain.

Some finds as stunning
some says it’s lovely,
I only count old pieces deep inside
with a touch of being lonely;

And I kept presuming another reason,
as I walked further into the rain.

The breaking of nerves
with every stroke of raindrops,
and a burst of tears
losing its way but never stops;

And I crossed that entire molten scene,
as I walked further into the rain.

The warmth of released pain
the limits of your courage,
everything is just between
me and this silent maze;

And I witnessed this moment of season,
as I walked further into the rain.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Colors which complete you!

This post is written as an entry for the contest 'Take Flight With Colour' organised by Indiblogger and HP laser printers. If you like this post then do vote for me at IndiVine

My mother always has complaints regarding my color sense as I am more inclined towards white or other light colors. Although there should always be an exception, hence color blue is also my favorite.

It was one of the preparatory days to attend my elder sister’s marriage. As I was staying in hostel in my master course, I reached my home two days before the ceremony.  I have not enough time for shopping my accessories and clothing for that especial day. Despite of so many requests from my mother n sisters to allow them to buy my things by their choices, I chose to do it by myself only.

 “Oh no…….. You have brought again the same white and black ones. Butru, could you please change your taste in color. Aren’t you getting bored with these repeated and dull colors?”-These criticisms are often common to me whenever I buy my clothes.

“Well, I think that it enhances the next color you added with.”- My most answerable answer for such criticism.

“And I hope that you can elaborate it further to me.”- My mother gave me a questioning look.

“Oh! Of course my dear mamma, See, if I match a gorgeous red dupatta with any white dress or a pink t-shirt with grey lowers, it becomes the best combination. Alone red could not be notable until or unless we add some light color. it's my belief that the beauty of color lies within these combination of colors. Got it?”- I smiled at my wit as usual.

But my mother is much smarter than me, so she threw the next googly to me. “Nobody can compete with you over an argument. So I agreed that you won! So where are the other colors to make your so called great combinations?”

“That………… I….will bring next time.”- I completed the line with as low voice as possible and the next moment, I jumped off the bed and ran to the kitchen.

On the other hand my chachi who was afraid to wear colorful sarees, just because she is a widow as she think or other people makes her to think. I always observed the glow becoming strong in her eyes whenever she saw lady next to her wearing a colorful saree. She definitely loves the color. So I decided to give her a new look in which she always wanted to be framed. I bought a decent but a bit more colorful than her pure white sari. Initially, she refused to wear it and started to murmur all those typical social obligations and related issues. I knew it was her fear only which makes her to be hesitant. perhaps she bothers to people outside or the people inside our home? The long silence of her, by default, has revealed everything. Somehow, we all feel the same thing and try to give her all the best possible colors of life as much as we all can. Yet her chosen colors are still very soothing, I can feel the deepness of each color in her sparkling eyes. To be most imaginative, I can feel the soft touch of a pink line on her lips whenever she gets a new color.

Importance of colors in life can be understood step by step with each step having different meaning of same color. Like red is symbolic to show your anger, but to me in my childhood, I can ignore the anger of my papa for a lollipop. I used to rub red colored lollipop on my lips as if I am wearing any lipstick shade. My younger sister’s act is as dark as chocolate as my mamma says. Nobody can guess what would be her next step, when she will break down and what makes her to melt and evaporate in a microsecond leaving sweetness in your heart. Black and red colors becomes my favorite whenever I play with my sister’s son. I just paint one tooth of mine as black, grow artificial eyebrow and moustache and big, scary eyes with the help of kajal pencil and a red lipstick covering area more than my lips has. I still cannot believe that those days are my graduation days! During my school days, bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai came into limelight of media, when she gained the crown of Miss World. I am very fond of reading books, not only course books but  grihshobha, grihlakshmi, sarita, comics, kadambini every magazine available in my home. From those reading sources, I came to know that Aishwarya has green eyes. Only I could feel that how crazy I was at that time, whenever I saw her eye-donation ad as if I am verifying the news from those magazines. Each time, I left with a doubt on her green eyes as I used to think that green means green like grass. To pick yellow petals of a flower from a cactus-like plant having crown of thorns was our daily routine as we made quirky sound from those petals. We were never afraid of getting pricked by numerous thorns. I hardly found that shade of yellow in any cloth market which I wish that one day I will dress-up like the same cactus-like plant with same crown of thorns. May be I was envy her! And how can I forget that day when our grandfather brought oranges for us which was very bright in color and just smaller than my football in size. We all were playing with our own share of oranges, suddenly I missed the catch and my share was now lying on the grass-ground. I still remember that I kept watching my orange from first floor so that no one can have my share. But also I could not take the risk to go down and get my orange back as I feared that someone may come and steal my orange during my way to reach the ground. Sometimes I feel that orange is still lying on that soothing green grass-field and I am still trying to go down the stairs of time to get back my orange of childhood. Another funny part of my childhood was toothpaste, the red and blue colored close-up toothpaste which I insisted to bring that month on the account of our monthly ration. How can I forget the experiment with those toothpastes! Every morning I used to try one layer of red toothpaste and then another layer of blue toothpaste and get the final color as violet. I thought that I have done something new research and smiled like a noble prize winner. I think there are plenty of moments filled with colors, but I also fear what would happen in absence of these colors?

Being fascinated to old things, I often search every corner and layers of old rusted iron trunks in store room.  May be some day I would get old jewelries, coins made up of silver, pouches with old silk work or things which my dreamy eyes want to see. On one of those investigation days, I found a photograph of my mamma and papa just after their marriage. It was black and white photograph, but my most favorite photograph. Earlier, that photograph was well-framed and kept near the T.V. table. Unfortunately, someday the frame was broken in a cleaning process and after which that photograph was sent to one the albums of one of the trunks.

I kept looking at that golden moment photograph and dreaming of it in color for a long time.  That Black and white photograph always makes me curious about the time of my young parents. What would be the color of my mamma's saree? Whether my papa’s hair is grey from early age? How was the make-up of my mother and how was she looking at that get-up?
My Parents

Finally, I decided to make a copy of that photograph in color by digitizing it. So, I went to a photo-studio near my home and showed the photograph which I wanted to be in color now. At that time, I did not get any regular pocket money, yet I paid 300 rupees for coloring it from my savings.

For some reason I was out of the station, so I instructed my friend Anita to bring back those photographs (old  as well as new colored one) from the studio. As I reached my home, I was very eager to see my parents in color. I opened the packet within a second. The photograph was colored very well, although I could not figure out that what is missing in that picture and bothering me. I only felt that it was incomplete somehow. May be the colors in my dream did not match with the colors given by the studio-man. Later I found out that the color of vermilion is still light grey. Perhaps the studio-man forgot to change the vermilion color into red and so the picture was incomplete. After that I did not get time to go back to the studio and make corrections. Now, it is always with me in an envelope.
After photoshop

If one day my one wish to color anything will come true, I will re-color that photograph with my dream colors.  I just wanted to have the colors which complete you, mamma...papa...

Monday, May 30, 2011

Chlorine in your drinking water : giving life or taking life?

The use of chlorine (in various forms such as liquid/solid/gaseous forms) in a drinking water treatment system to prevent waterborne diseases is one of the greatest public health advances in history. In order to understand the popularity of using chlorine in a water treatment one must have some depth of knowledge about water treatment.

Water treatment consists of various physical operations/chemical processes in a definite sequence (the sequence depends upon the source of water such as ground water, surface water etc.) to remove existing contaminants or to reduce the amount of contaminants to such a level that the water becomes fit for its desired end-use. It includes aeration, removal of suspended as well as dissolved solids, hardness removal, removal of biodegradable or some chemical substances causing bad taste and odor, toxic metal removal, filtration, disinfection etc.

Disinfection is the end process of water treatment to make water safe from pathogenic bacteria which are responsible for waterborne diseases. The prime objective of the disinfection in drinking water treatment is to kill pathogenic microorganisms, unlike sterilization (example: boiling of water) which means complete destruction of all living organisms. Although the other unit processes/operations of drinking water treatment, such as coagulation, clarification, and filtration, also help in reducing the load of microbial pathogens, disinfection is considered as the final barrier to the entry of pathogens into the finished product water.  Few microorganisms are tabulated here with their health effects and sources:

Major Disease
Primary Source
Salmonella typhi
typhoid fever
human feces
Salmonella paratyphi
paratyphoid fever
human feces
Salmonella typhimurium
human/animal feces
Other Salmonella sp.
gastroenteritis (salmonellosis)
human/animal feces
bacillary dysentery
human feces
Vibrio cholerae
Human feces, coastal
Enterovirulent E. coli
human feces
Yersinia enterocolitica
human/animal feces
Campylobacter jejuni
human/animal feces
Legionella pneumophila
Legionnaires Disease, Pontiac fever
warm water
Helicobacter pylori
peptic ulcers
saliva, human feces

A good disinfectant must be toxic to microorganisms at concentrations below the toxic thresholds to humans. In addition it should have fast rate of killing bacteria, should be persistent enough to prevent regrowth of microorganisms in distribution system, easily available, easy to handle, safe and inexpensive etc. sodium hypochlorite, chloramines, chlorine dioxide, ozone, other halogens, gamma rays, UV radiation are some common disinfectants used for drinking water disinfection. Among all the disinfectants, chlorine is considered as the most easily available disinfectant, cheaper and easy to handle when compared with others.

Generally, bacteria present in the water and on surfaces are harmless. But they are at the base of a food-chain for other free-living organisms such as fungi, protozoa, worms etc. A drinking water distribution system provides habitat for microorganisms, which are sustained by organic and inorganic nutrients present on the pipe and in the conveyed water. A primary concern is therefore to prevent contamination from fecal material that might build up near pipes or contaminate surface or soil water.

There is one more advantage of using chlorine extensively over all other disinfectants is that it can be present in distribution system or storage as residual chlorine for a comparatively long duration. Hence, it enhances the safety measures by suppressing the survival as well as regrowth of pathogenic bacteria in a distribution system/storage tank.

However, recent research has also shown its dark side which includes the ineffectiveness of chlorine as disinfectant as well as health hazards while using for a very long time.

People generally assume that if chlorine is present in water, the water is free from pathogens. In actual it may not be true for every condition. Recent research has proved that bacteria may get resistant to chlorine when exposed for a long duration by developing or changing its cell behavior. This also led to think upon using another sources of disinfecting agent.

Another problem associated with chlorine is the health hazards to its consumers. Chlorine alone is not harmful. But when it combines with other chemical substances like NOM (natural organic matters), it results in formation of various chlorinated disinfection by-products (DBPs).

Chloroform, a well-known anaesthetic, was discovered in chlorinated water by Rook in 1974 and is a known carcinogen. This discovery and subsequent identification of other carcinogenic DBPs led to concerns about the potential risks to human health due to chlorination. A number of alternatives to chlorine as a disinfectant are being used in different parts of the world, but elevated risks associated with their by-products are less well established than for chlorine.

Various groups of DBPs have been identified in drinking waters and are now regulated in many countries. DBPs include trihalomethanes (THMs) like chloroform, bromoform, bromodichloromethane and chlorodibromomethane, haloacetic acids (HAAs) like monochloroacetic acid, dichloroacetic acid and trichloroacetic acid and haloacetonitriles (HANs) like dichloroacetonitriles and dibromoacetonitriles. Some inorganic compounds that are also regulated as DBPs include chlorite, chlorate, bromate, and cyanogen chloride. Among these THMs and HAAs are the predominant DBPs groups in drinking water.

Some epidemiological studies show that long exposure to these DBPs caused many diseases like cancer (brain, pancreas, rectum, breast, lung, liver, bladder, kidney etc.), miscarriages etc.

Toxicity assessments for these harmful chemicals are also related with the exposure routes of DBPs. Possible routes of exposure to DBPs can include ingestion of water and food cooked or washed in tap water, inhalation of indoor air and dermal contact with chlorinated water during water use activities like cleaning, washing, showering or bathing. Water-based activities like swimming are also another major route of DBP exposure.

The factors discussed above make us to rethink upon the frequent use of chlorine as a disinfectant. Risks associated with other disinfectants has not been documented so well as compared to chlorine till today. Further research has been still going on in this direction by several developed and developing countries. Therefore, this does not mean that other alternatives are less hazardous. The decision to use chlorine in our drinking water sometimes becomes difficult, especially when it contains two utmost criteria: safety of drinking water from pathogens and safety of public health from chlorine exposure. Therefore, some countries has started to make strict regulations for DBPs in order to minimize the health hazards from these chemical substances. We need to find out good alternatives for disinfectant/chlorine. On the other hand, regulations should be strictly reinforced in a water treatment system. The advanced research work should be encouraged to find out ways to overcome these problems.

I feel good to get viewer's perspective on this topic.


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

heart Vs. cigarette

What if our hearts act as none other than a cigarette, which is rolled up with emotions instead of tobacco? Burning of emotions is a real pain, but the two utmost questions arise when a cigarette is lighted up: what causes it to get ignited and how it will be stopped? Obviously we know the answers in case of a cigarette: one is a lighter and another is a butt to stop it from burning any more. Then why we could not able to define answers to ourselves, when an emotion starts burning inside us? Certainly, it can be some things or some people or sometimes we only, who act as a lighter for these emotions. No matter who lit it up, we always have a stopper and that butt is TIME.