Solving my questions, Completing my life

Sometimes feeling your own fingers from your eyes to the back of neck is not the solution for your question, especially question wrapped in several layers of doubts. Sometimes Life raises questions to me and sometimes I impose questions on life. whatever be the case, It's me who has to solve it.

Nobody wants questions in his/her life, but it is ubiquitous in our life.  In fact, I cannot imagine life without questions. It is surely a stressing element, but it also causes our decision more strong and firm.

Therefore, I treat every question of my life as a toughest brick of that particular time without which I could not construct well my life. It does not matter how frustrated I am while solving my questions, I feel happy that I am completing my life.

A lifetime runner

When I was child, I had only difficulty to memorize some chapters of history. Now, I try to forget some chapters of life. Life is simply strange and becoming stranger whenever I try to understand. I hate to be indecisive and yet I am.

Again, with time, size of difficulty is continuously increasing just like a hurdle in a race to check and improve your ability to win over it. The only difference in this game called LIFE is that there is no end of levels which assures you to be a winner. Therefore, yes I am still not a winner; but I am a lifetime runner.

Yes I am alone, If I do not hear from you.....

‘Am I alone?’ – The most frequent questionable question to self it is! And, what should be the most answerable answer? ‘Yes I am’ with a definite perplex sign or ‘No I am not totally A……’ with dubious assenting sign. This only means however confirmative you are, your statements are still doubtful to you.

Then somewhere in my mind, I begin to try to prove one of those ‘yes or no’ statements. I know I can prove both, but logically to come to a definite conclusion, I should not try both like any math theorem where L.H.S. can disapprove R.H.S. and vice-versa.

To have reasons for YES-fact I could get many, but to prove No-fact to myself, I have you. Only you!

So, please give me a horn while passing by Kharagpur Railway's track. I hear your sound of wheels running on tracks at 4 O'clock every morning. Yes I am alone, if I do not hear from you.

I'm Searching for my sun.....

I did not sleep for the whole last night. Perhaps, I was wandering about life- a collection of stories which sometimes seems to be as tiny as one single vapor (I doubt that anybody can separate it from a cloud of vapors) and sometimes as big as data stored in one single mind, sorting out ways to overcome deadly hurdles to fulfill basics of life survival strategy and also looking for one more thing- but I could not figure out what is that one thing at that instance?

With faded face as the darkness fades away just before sunrise, I stood at my window for timeless time- the only window which connects me to the outer world, as the door of my room is always closed to ensure me that you are safe in your own created hidden world. Being closed in a room is just an illusion to feel as safe as that rabbit feels with his closed eyes. If I am afraid of something, then why do I always want to stand at the window? May be it is fear to love them or fear to being loved by them? I am confused and I know how to get confused very well because that is the way I am.

While standing alone at my window, I was watching the daily motion of sunlight. It was same as the previous day, but the way I am looking at it was quite different today. I saw a drainage pipe attached to a roof. The upper part of pipe is quite visible due to sunlight. Suddenly, I saw its shadow which was much bigger than its actual size as the sunlight is more inclined. I kept thinking about the shadow that as the sun will rise above the horizon, the size of shadow will definitely start decreasing and when the sun will reach at its top, its shadow will disappear. Finally sun will leave the shadow behind it, even if shadow will reappear and gain its maximum size.

Does that shadow of drainage mount resemble the hurdles of life? Which looks bigger initially, gradually disappears with time and then with more longer time we gradually become least bothered to those hurdles and to their size?

If it is true, then I am searching for my sun…………………